i had the best day even lincoln was alright and it was all ruined when i got home by my parents telling me theat my mum is in hospital AGAIN. She still has endocarditis (some heart thingy) cept that has caused her to have yet another sroke because the heart is rejecting the artificial valve that they put in...... 

:cry:

Why when i am actually happy doesa everything always have to be ruined by something or another.  I have decided i am not going down to sydney to visit my mum.  I just cant bring myself to go down there and see her again, not after everything that she has put me through. Also, she brought all this sickness on herself. If she just wasn't the way that she was she would be happy and healthy right now and i wouldnt be put into this predicament!

I dont know anymore, my grandparents down sydney say that i should go down, but i dont no.....Now is not the best time for me to leave anyway, though i would like to see my little bro. I have the drama esteddfod on monday and i cant exactly leave nicole hanging, coz if i went down to sydney i would go on friday and  come back wednesday.  So i think ill just stick here in port and leave everything how it is. Im really hoping that everything turns out ok. No matter how much i cant stand my mum because of all she has put me though it would be soo hard for me if she didnt make it! She is my mum after all

:?

Well anyway ill see!

Jared please dont tell ANYONE any of this